pre flight fright

There are events and then there is that time before events. Before the thing you're waiting for even begins to arrive something happens with time. It slows to a creep. You're seven years old again and Christmas is tomorrow but it could just as well be months away. And then it happens and then it's over before you realize it.

I'm still in that pre-event time and as time slithers by, I can't help but think about what could go wrong in the next 24 hours. I had a dream a few nights ago that didn't really help my anxiety, either. I dreamt that  I couldn't get back to my place in New York because I left without my wallet. I was waiting at the subway wondering how I would get through the turn-style without a Metrocard. I woke up nervous that I might be forgetting something that common sensical for this trip. I've been reassured by the few people I've told about this dream that so long as I have my Passport, I should be fine. Everything else can be reconciled as long as I have that. I guess they're right, but I'm still hoping that sometime during those few hours before I leave that I miraculously remember what I'm forgetting or at least feel sure that I'm not forgetting anything.

I leave tomorrow morning for Istanbul with a few stops along the way. I haven't spent too much time thinking about what it might be like. At this point, I'd prefer to be surprised.

So here's to America: I'll miss you. You've done me well. I shall return.

Nothing more American than the lights over a baseball game.